You made me cry and you don't even care
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize