but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
