hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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