Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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