Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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