I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
