Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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