I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The Olympian is in my bed
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