I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
