So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i came on her dog
this will be a night to untag.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
