You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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