I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
