On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
