What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
