is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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