i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
PANTIES FOUND
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
