It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
