If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
