Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
