i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
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I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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