your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize