so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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