Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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