need another drink. this is the easiest way
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
