It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
