they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
