I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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