i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can tuck mytits in my pants
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
