Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
