Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
