bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize