i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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