I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
