i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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