i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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