Ambien. No doubt about it.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize