I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
