i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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