I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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