Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
