Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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