oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
