New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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