people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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