a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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