Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
