wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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