yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
