the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
