Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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