i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i drank out of a bidet.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
