he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
