when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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