we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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