And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
