your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
