New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
