Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
