she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
