i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
