508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Couch. On fire.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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