Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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