The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
