im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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