just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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