I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
