had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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